Co-authored by wikiHow Staff
If video games are an important part of your life, you’re going to want your partner to feel the same and to share your interests. Unfortunately there is a powerful stigma which separates women and video games in society, making it seem impossible to find a woman who shares your gaming interests. Luckily this stigma couldn’t be farther from the truth, and finding a gaming girlfriend is as easy as knowing where to look.
Meeting Women Who Like Video Games
Try your local video game store. Whenever you’re browsing, try starting a conversation with any women you find attractive. Naturally, don’t be pushy or over-aggressive. Try to make a connection to whatever they’re looking at when you first speak to them.
- ”I just recently finished that game, it was great; anything you’ve played that you’d recommend?”
- ”The best part about that game is the multiplayer, do you play online a lot?”
- As with any stranger you start a conversation with in public, don’t harangue them; if they try to end the conversation or walk away, let them.
Search around in MMO games. In massively-multiplayer online games, you come across hundreds of thousands of people. Hopefully some of them you enjoyed your time with enough that you’ve sought them out again and again. Get to know other players well through private or direct messages. Try to move your conversations from game-related matters to real life concerns, to get a better understanding of whomever you’ve met.
- Try to get whomever you enjoy spending time with on voice chat; this is sometimes the only to tell who is female, as character gender may not always mirror that of the player.
- Note that this method may not find you women in your area; MMO games include people from all over the world. You may have to settle for a correspondence companionship in your search for a female gaming partner.
- It may be worth seeking out games like Second Life which have an active dating sub-community within them. Other less popular games such as Luna Online or Lucent Heart have game mechanics dedicated to people seeking partners online.
Visit gaming or comic book conventions. Anywhere large groups of like-minded people gather will be a good place to seek out a partner who shares your interests. Conventions also provide a lot of opportunity for ice-breakers. You can compliment a woman on her costume, or make conversation while waiting in line for a booth or event.
- Conventions may be the most opportune places to meet like-minded women, as they’ll most likely be there because of their own interest, and they’re engaged in a large, public setting which makes anybody more open to conversation:
- ”That costume is incredible! How long did it take you to make?”
- ”The wait for this booth is insane, but I’m such a big fan of that it’s definitely worth it. What’s your favorite thing about ?”
Make the most of social media. There’s a variety of social media which connects people based on their interests. If you have a Facebook profile, you may already know of women who share your interest in video games based on their own profiles. There is also Meetup, an app and website which connects you with groups of people who have shared interests.
- For Meetup, seek out groups of people who get together to play games, or do video game-related activities. When you’re at your first Meetup, take your time to get know the women there. If there’s any one you find especially engaging, ask her on a date before the event ends.
- On Facebook, don’t be afraid to shoot a private message to female Facebook friends who share you interests. Hopefully there’s a game you might both play online that you can suggest; if not, try being a little forward and asking her out.
Consider online dating. Whether it’s something a little more flirty like Tinder or OKCupid, or something more serious like Match.com, online dating websites make the search for like-minded partners a little less difficult. For the most part, user-created profiles will answer many of your questions in advance.
- You’ll want to look for women who’ve listed video games as one of their interests or hobbies. Dating apps and sites also make the introduction a little easier; use whatever interface is at hand to let them know you’re interested.
- Don’t neglect their other attributes, either. Just because a woman shares your interests in video games doesn’t make her a perfect match. Be sure to be comprehensive when looking around.
Look around your school or workplace. The best place to begin will be the place you spend most of your time–at work or school. Hopefully you already know some about your female peers because of the time you spend around them. Keep your ears open around the workplace for mentions of video games in conversation.
- If you are aware of any one woman who is interested in video games, don’t be afraid to engage them on the subject, but be sure to do it organically.
- One easy conversation starter is to ask how their weekend was. Hopefully they may mention video games, but you can bring up your own favorites to try and inquire into their likes and dislikes.
Getting to Know Her
Ask her on a date. A little more nerve-racking if you’ve just met at a gaming store or convention, but don’t be afraid. It’s always better to be rejected than to never know what might’ve been. Though your first connection may have been over video games, try and make your first date simple and classic.
- Dinner and a movie is a timeless date idea. Try to decide on a movie together beforehand, and be sure to see it before your meal. This way the movie is ample fodder for dinner conversation.
- While it may seem logical to invite her over for video games, there’s still quite a bit of getting to know one another which should come first. Try not to focus your date conversation solely on video games.
Start gaming. Provided your first date went well, you should hopefully know a little bit more about your potential girlfriend. If you both enjoy a game that can be played online with one another, suggest a time to do that as a fun pseudo-second date. Or suggest she visit you (or vice versa) to play a game you both like in person.
- Try to lose any bravado or hyper-competitiveness when playing; if you’re both playing to win don’t lose on purpose. Losing on purpose is at best unsportsmanlike, and at worst insulting.
- Keep things light-hearted and fun, and remember to enjoy yourself. Though it may be difficult, do your best to relax and put down your guard in this situation–remember that this is someone you’ve sought to game with, so there’s no reason to be nervous.
Make her a part of your video game life. Don’t make the mistake of going out of your way to meet a woman who likes video games, only to exclude her from the more “serious” endeavors of your gaming lifestyle. Be sure to provide her the benefit of the doubt (and time to catch up) for games she hasn’t encountered before.
- If there is a game in which you’re heavily invested time-wise, like World of Warcraft or League of Legends, know that you’ll need to introduce your new romantic partner to this more “serious” world of yours.
- At the very least you’ll need to offer. Plenty of women will be happy to give you your “serious” time with a game that matters a lot to you, provided you allowed them every opportunity to be a part of that world.
Let her expand your gaming horizons. Many men might make the assumption that their commitment to gaming is more intense, or more foundational than that of the woman they’re dating. This might lead to a relationship of two video game enthusiasts, but one where it’s one person choosing the games that both play.
- Remember to take a back seat and allow yourself to be introduced to new games. Don’t be a pushover for the sake of agreement, however; some games you just won’t like. Be sure to extend to her the same courtesy you hope she extends to you in this situation.
Making It Last
Go beyond video games. No relationship can survive on one mutual interest alone. It’s well and good to have video games be the centerpiece of an early relationship, but growth is aided by expanding your mutual horizons. Maybe you both enjoy rock climbing, or walks on the beach.
- More than anything, make sure this is a person who you’re happy to spend time with, regardless of being able to play video games together.
Keep the right attitude. For those who grew up gamers, it’s easy to a have a very singular (usually competitive) mindset about gaming. Work on chipping away at this mindset to have the very best of gaming experiences with your girlfriend.
- Realize that you’re not gaming with her to kill time, but you’re gaming together as a chance to bond and spend quality time with one another. Make sure the focus when gaming is on your mutual enjoyment.
Brace for change. Not everybody will like the same things in same way forever. While you may have met a woman who is fond of video games, her interests may fluctuate with time. Variety in what you do together plays a large role in most relationships.
- Know what it is you’re hoping for out of a relationship with a fellow gamer, whether it is a girlfriend to play games with or a gamer friend who is also your romantic partner. Knowing your priorities will be key to a healthy relationship.