You and your partner are both single.
You both have kids.
At some point if the relationship is successful, those kids will have to meet.
But when is the right time to introduce the kids together?
How should you do it?
The answer is always going to be complicated, but there are some ways to navigate this minefield of emotions.
is the Right Time?
Meeting a potential future stepchild is difficult enough for everyone involved. But when both of you have children of your own, it is extra difficult. It is important that you wait until you are certain that your relationship is going to last.
It doesn’t have to be marriage, and it doesn’t have to last forever necessarily, but no children should meet if their parents are still “feeling things out.” Make sure you and your partner are open with each other in advance.
Do You Introduce Kids of Different Parents?
It starts by knowing your child, and trying your best to figure out how they will react.
Are they excited about the prospect of you dating? Do they hate the idea? How are they will other children?
As always, you know your child better than anyone, and that is going to have to drive your decision making with regards to how you start making introductions.
You’ll also want to consider the following:
Consider Getting to Know the Kids First – If possible, you may want to meet your partner’s kids well in advance of them meeting each other. When they’re familiar with you, especially if they are accepting, they’ll be more interested in meeting your children.
Arrange the Meeting Away From Home – Home is always a safe space, and you don’t want to invade someone’s safe space. Instead, try having the kids meet at an event, especially if it is one with games, fun, and activities they can do together (or to distract themselves).
Don’t Push It – Unless you’re certain your kids need it, it may be best to minimize the importance of the meeting. Act like this is not a big deal, so that there isn’t a pressure or awkwardness on the children when they meet.
The children may not get along right away. That’s okay. Indeed, they never truly need to get along.
They simply need to be respectful, know that you love them, and watch you in a healthy relationship.
As long as you set a good example and make sure everyone involved feels cared for, their relationship is up to them.