By Sarah Fader
Updated December 12, 2018
Reviewer Nicole J. Johnson
Dating a woman with a child or children can be very exciting, fulfilling and challenging at the same time. Traditional dating, allows two people to get to know one another, build a special bond and decide if starting a family is right for them. These are still some of the same steps that couples take when children are already involved, but with some added creativity and sensitivity.
Of course, everyone has their preferences or in many cases people have found women with children come to the relationship with certain qualities that are real assets to sustaining a healthy relationship, like balancing and prioritizing life.
Check out these tips for making it work.
#1 Recognize That Dating A Woman with Children Can Be Different Than Dating A Person Without Children
Dating a woman with children may be very similar to dating anyone else in some ways however it should be acknowledged that a woman with children will have other priorities. Understanding that her children may likely have needs that will be a higher priority than the relationship is very important. If you are interested in a woman with children, it is very important that your self-confidence and level of independence is secure. Dating a woman with children may also mean that she has open communication with her ex, this is generally a positive thing for the sake of the children. This means it is important to again be confident in yourself and trust your partner.
If you have any issues related to self-confidence and our establishing trust, one great option is Betterhelp’s online counseling platform. This is a great resource to work on your feelings at your own speed and from the comfort of your own home. It’s much more flexible than other settings. Sign up is simple and can quickly lead to dating/relationship guidance that can make a huge difference.
#2 Know Her Priorities
When getting to know the woman you are considering dating, ask her about what is important in her life? What are some daily activities that she is committed to? When and how does she spend her free time?
A woman with children will likely have structure and routine to balance her family’s life. Being able to be flexible for her schedule and or creative with spending quality time together can make your relationship exciting and full of gratitude.
When you two want “alone time”; She will need some advanced notice and it will be great to work together to prepare to make sure all of the bases are covered.
#3 Spoil Her Differently
It is always nice to show your partner how much are enjoying their company and that they are special to you. Of course, women enjoy gifts and special trips, but you can take it step further and show your partner not only how much you appreciate her but the added effort she makes to spend time with you. A way you can offer this gratitude may be by offering to cover the cost of a date night babysitter. By helping to offset the cost of babysitting dates, you may increase her opportunities to spend time out.
Other ways you can show special attention to your partner is by helping out with things she may need in her daily routine. With her permission and when you both feel the time is right, offer to pick up dinner, help with activities around the house that can use an extra hand, or take her car for a wash. You will get to know what she needs or wants – just go ahead and offer to assist. It doesn’t have to cost a great deal of money, just be creative.
#4 Let Her Handle Her Children And Her Ex
Depending on your partner’s situation, dealing with an ex can be a downside of dating someone with kids. This however is not always the case or it does not have to be. In fact, the solution is really simple: stay out of it. Although it might be tempting to jump in and take sides, you must remember that these issues probably started long before you came into the picture and will continue if you decide to exit. Instead of getting involved, simply lend an ear and shoulder for support. This can mean a lot to your partner and can even go a long way with the ex.
The same rules apply when it comes to your girlfriend’s children. Allow your partner to manager her children. Of course, if you are in contact with the children it is your responsibility as an adult to keep them safe if ever in your care but leave the parenting to the parents until you and your partner have a conversation about how you all plan to handle you having a more involed role in the family.
#5 Take an interest in Her Children
It is an amazing feeling in a relationship when you partner has an interest and respect for the thing things that are important to you. This is very much the same when dating women with children. If you have a genuine interest in her family, she will find this to be an enjoyable and sustainable experience. This does not mean that you need to throw yourself full force in to having a relationship with her children, but showing genuine interest by asking questions about the family, her parenting style and eventually discussing what a future blended family may look like. By getting to know more about her family, you are getting to know more about your partner.
Once you move into a more involved relationship with the family, be sure to get to know the children as individuals; talking to the children about their interest, likes and dislikes can go a long way for all of you. Building a bond through mutual respect is very important for the growth of the relationship.
#6 Slow And Steady Wins The Race
When dating a woman with children, and really anyone, taking your time to build the relationship is important. Going at a pace that allows you to learn more about yourself, your partner and the family dynamics will be help both of you decide if this is a good fit. If it is a good fit, going slow and steady will also allow you both to develop boundaries and structure the relationship in a way that will be healthy to introduce the children into. Children can sense insincerity, so make sure you both are sure about wanting the relationship to work; so they are exposed to healthy intimacy and can build on the bond created by you and your partner.
It can take sometime for children to positively respond to a “newcomer” to the family; so exercise patience and respect as they adjust.