How to Write an Online Dating Profile: Tips from a Professional Profile Writer
MAY 8, 2018 by JOSHUA POMPEY
Learning how to write an online dating profile that attracts anyone isn’t all that hard. But you aren’t trying to attract just anyone, you want to attract the person who’s right for you. And this can be a bit trickier.
The good news is that after nearly a decade of writing profiles, I can say with fair certainty that my professional profile writers and I have mastered the process.
If you’re wondering how to write an online dating profile, you’re in luck.
Here are seven steps to write a great profile according to professional profile writers:
Step 1: Without the right photos, nothing you write matters.
Sure, this is an article about how to write a profile, but if you don’t have the right collection of photos, even the greatest authors of our time can’t help you.
When putting together your photo gallery, make sure you look flattering in every picture you post. If you can combine this with pictures that also reveal your interests and most attractive personality traits, you’ll have a very powerful photo gallery.
Step 2: Give your profile structure.
See how this article is structured? It’s easy on the eyes because the paragraphs are quick and to the point. You can scan it quickly. If this article was two bulky paragraphs, nobody would read it.
Your profile should be structured in a similar manner. Each “mini paragraph” should tap into a different aspect of who you are as a person.
A sample profile might open with a funny hook, talk about my outdoor interests in the second paragraph, my passion for traveling in the third, my career in the fourth, etc. The point is, each paragraph should tap into a different topic, anecdote, or theme.
Professional profile writers craft profiles that can be read two ways—they can be skimmed for information, but also read like a well-written short story, providing the best of both worlds.
Step 3: Add some bait.
The harder it is for someone to start a conversation with you, the more likely they will move onto the next profile, even if they were otherwise interested. Adding what I refer to as profile bait circumvents this problem by setting the reader up with an easy conversation starter. Let’s take a look at an example:
In the next year I plan on finally exploring Iceland (northern lights here I come!) and taking that long awaited family trip to Italy, but I’m always open to new ideas. Any fun adventures in your future?
The reader of this profile now has multiple entry points to start a conversation. The reader can:
- Ask about my trip to Italy
- Comment on my Iceland trip
- Discuss a fun adventure or idea of their own
- Connect with me on their passion for traveling
It’s a win on so many levels in two short sentences. But it gets even better…
These two sentences also reveal that I like to travel, am open-minded, have a passion for nature, and that family is important to me. Now that’s a lot of bang for your buck.
Bonus Tip: Pictures can be used as profile bait as well!
Step 4: Remove all negativity.
Instead of writing, “If you lack drive, confidence, and aren’t intelligent, please don’t message me,” try, “I tend to get extremely excited by men who are confident, have big goals, and can make me laugh. If you’re the type of guy that also loves to read and get a little geeky sometimes, you may just be my prince charming!”
Never focus on what you fear about online dating or what you don’t want in a partner. Negative energy always attracts negative attention. When someone approaches your profile it should exude optimism, happiness, and portray someone who is excited about the future.
Step 5: Show don’t tell.
Suppose being funny is your thing. If you’re funny, don’t just say you’re funny or that your friends think you’re funny—be funny! This is a snippet from a profile of mine before I was married to an incredible woman:
I can’t seduce you by telling you I play guitar or rock climb.
But I can play a mean guitar on X-Box and successfully get up a mountain on a ski lift, so I think it balances out.
I’ll save a baby on a Monday, and leave my grandmother stranded for the first beautiful girl I see on a Tuesday. Ok, kidding. I don’t save babies. But I am truly sorry grandma.
This is me actually being funny (or as my wife would say, thinking I’m more funny than I am) as opposed to just saying I’m funny. Everyone says they’re funny, interesting, intelligent, and confident online. So don’t just say it. Prove it.
Step 6: Mix it up a bit.
Diversity is an extremely important and attractive quality to showcase. It signals that a relationship with you won’t eventually turn into a boring and lifeless relationship.
People who read your profile want to know that life with you will be fun and exciting going forward. The more interests, passions, and personality traits you reveal, the more people will be drawn to your profile, and the more likely people will be able to find commonalities with you. So add a mix of things!
Step 7: Check for mistakes.
There are a whole lot of moving parts when it comes to creating an online dating profile. Unfortunately, due to all the competition online, one little mistake that goes unnoticed can accidentally sabotage the entire operation.
It could be something as simple as a phrase that accidentally comes across as desperate or needy, a really bad grammar mistake, poor language choice, a misguided picture, negative energy, or any number of the dozens of unintentional red flags that people accidentally display.
Always proof read your profile over and over, get second, third, and even fourth opinions, and never be afraid to self-reflect if you’re not getting any responses.
Writing a dating profile may seem like a daunting task at times, but the truth is that it’s easier than you think. It takes a little time and extra effort, but you can create a profile that helps you stand out and meet the kind of people you’re interested in.