A person in the midst of divorce needs to find their anchors in this hurricane of diminishing love – their faith, family and friends. They also need to see the lighthouse in the distance – words can help to heal.
10 Inspiring Quotes to Heal From Divorce
Any person experiencing divorce understands that it is a migration out of pain and towards renewed strength. On this emotional voyage there are maneuverable days and others when the hurt takes on crater like proportions. It is a road that begins with two and along the way the fork in the road divides this union. The loss, anxiety, fear, anger and isolation mimic grief. A person in the midst of divorce needs to find their anchors in this hurricane of diminishing love – their faith, family and friends. They also need to see the lighthouse in the distance – words can help to heal.
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Change is Difficult
“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.” – Shannon L. Alder
Change is difficult. It is the unknown, the uncertain, and the unpredictable. It evokes a lack of security and safety. So much so that many will choose to stay in a terrible situation because it is certain. It is far more comfortable than boarding a flight of freedom towards an uncharted locale. It takes confidence and bravery to reclaim one’s self-respect and worth. To remember that no individual deserves to stay unhappy, sad, mistreated, ignored, bullied, unloved or discontent. People who choose divorce, do so because they have reclaimed their worth and realize that change is the price of freedom.
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A Long, Hard Journey
“Travel far enough, you meet yourself.” – David Mitchell
Divorce is a long, hard, journey that starts well before the actual paperwork is filed. Most troubled marriages endure for some time before one spouse or the other finally decides it is over. In the process of fixing a marriage two parties are involved. This can make it difficult to meet one’s self. Once the divorce process begins a spouse has traveled towards the end of this marital journey. In this, the individual is now alone and forced to regain a stronger sense of self. A person once muddied by the complexities of the relationship can now clearly be seen.
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“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” – Jennifer Weiner
Despite the fact that more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, a societal stigma still exists. Many believe the theory that staying together for the sake of the children is far better than dissolving a marriage. Is it really? It is well proven that often children go out and duplicate the relationship modeled by their parents. The love given to and showed to children is paramount to a parent. Why then, would compromising on the type of love displayed be the proper thing to demonstrate? Children should witness the highest form of healthy love — unconditional love between spouses.
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“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.” -Shannon L. Alder
Divorce is not fair. Often in the divorce process not only are spouses not fair, but neither is the court system. There isn’t enough time or money for the legal system to adequately absorb what is happening between two individuals. It comes down to the logistics of custody and financial distribution. Emotion is absent from the courts. So it’s imperative for divorcing spouses to find peaceful respite within. An individual should process, forgive and heal the heartache. Regardless of the fact that many divorces seem to be about money, the emotions are by far the most costly aspect of divorce.
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Don’t Become a Victim
“Don’t allow your wounds to transform you into someone you are not.” – Paulo Coelho
To truly heal from the pain of divorce it’s important to take the other individual out of the equation. The longer the blame is attached or associated with another, the more difficult it is to move on. Instead, view the wounds incurred by divorce as a personal part of one’s own life journey. Divorce has a tendency to make an individual feel victimized. Wounds teach empathy and understanding and promote personal growth. Own the wound individually, attend to it, lick it and let it heal. Then one should allow it to take its rightful place in becoming who they are.
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Realize You Deserve Better
“Once you realize you deserve better, letting go will be the best decision ever.” – www.livelifehappy.com
In the throws of marital discord, the emotions are strong and highly connected. The love for a spouse can make an individual blind. Once the emotion is taken out of the relationship they can see. Consequently, it is difficult for many to understand or grasp that they deserve better while still deeply in love and in a bad marriage. Additionally, in many troubled relationships, enablers put up with bad behavior and then make excuses for it. The process of divorcing allows a distance that is often necessary to realize one deserves much better. Not only in a spouse, but ‘love.’
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Let It Go
“Only by acceptance of the past will you alter its meaning.” – T.S. Eliot
It can be difficult to keep moving during and after a painful divorce. One of the hardest parts of divorce can be acceptance. No one gets married intending to end up divorced. There is a sense of fear and resistance and failure. There is also the inability to release a person that once meant so much. However, it is critical to ‘let go.’ One must let go of the pain, the person and the past. Only then, will they have the ability to truly understand the meaning and value that relationship and joint, cumulative past has brought to their life.
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Loss of a Being
“In every friendship hearts grow and entwine themselves together, so that the two hearts seem to make only one heart with only a common thought. That is why separation is so painful; it is not so much two hearts separating, but one being torn asunder.” – Fulton J. Sheen
Marriages start off will two independent individuals. Then over time, there is a waxing and waning of individual independence. Ultimately, that dance turns the two hearts into one great choreographed, marital dance. The independent spouses now have increasingly common thoughts and become more alike in their ideologies, tastes, habits, etc. So essentially, an entire person or heart has been lost in order to create one. This makes it impossible to let go of another. It is difficult to once again regain individual heart and being. It is the loss of a friendship and a whole being that two individuals created.
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“Just move on. Sometimes, you have to give up on people, not because you don’t care anymore, because they don’t.” – www.quotesfrenzy.com
People will frequently stay in unhappy marriages. They do so because they have a confidence, a misplaced optimism and belief in a spouse that has no intention of working on the broken relationship. What further elongates the troubled, marital, marathon? A pleaser and a fixer. This overly caring personality has spent their entire lives never giving up and making everything right. Therefore, they marry someone who is quite the opposite. It is a selfish personality that cares more about themselves than their spouse. It’s a hard reality to understand. That it is possible to have married someone who doesn’t care.
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Life After Divorce
“There is beauty in feeding others when you are spiritually or physically hungry yourself. ” – Lisa Donovan
Divorce is a consuming process. The heartache, dynamics and general misery of the divorce process are overwhelming enough to create a strong self-focus. Add the grief process and an individual’s world can temporarily become quite self-centered. Then there are the children who are suffering as well. They need and deserve the most focus. All of this combined creates a need to make a divorcing family’s world small in order to cope. Conversely, taking the time to step outside of it provides a reminder and a grace that there is a world outside of divorce. It can be a centering remedy.
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Promise of Hope
Divorce is an emotionally crippling process. It is a time when emotions run high and energy runs low. A time when people crave wisdom, yet stressful distractions and grief provide very little support for it. There is zero time for the luxury of the heavy lifting of lengthy, self-help, books nor the concentration. It is essential to rely on the cherished foundation of faith, family and fiends and the promise of random bits of hope and inspiration. The aforementioned quotes provide small nuggets of truth and encouragement. It is small, verbal, grazing to feed the wounds of the divorcing heart.
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Read more at https://www.beliefnet.com/love-family/relationships/affairs-and-divorce/10-inspiring-quotes-to-heal-from-divorce.aspx?p=12#WS1AP4fyyjS28qvm.99